Why I Don't Hate On Bad Players

Because you can take them to the bank! It's a trivial sentiment, and yet how many times have you heard someone complain about donkey play? Or even people who will completely avoid super-loose house-style games, just because they're full of donkeys?

The truth is, when people don't like playing with donkeys, it's because

1. Donkeys end up winning a lot of pots (because they're donkeys, and they play a lot of pots) and people don't like losing pots to inferior players, and
2. It takes them out of their comfort zone of predictable, by-the-books poker.

The reason I have this on my mind is the following sequence of hands from last night:

The subject sits down, and only two hands later...

Full Tilt Poker Game #5972974939: Table Exley (6 max) - $0.25/$0.50 - No Limit Hold'em
Seat 1: spazzy1 ($19.50) <-- BB
Seat 2: JohnGa ($20)
Seat 3: Metsfanman ($38.40)
Seat 4: corbin801 ($17.70)
Seat 5: noldmax ($51.25)
Seat 6: BronxBulldog ($49.80) <-- SB

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to noldmax [7c 9s]
JohnGa folds, Metsfanman folds, corbin801 folds
noldmax raises to $1.75 <-- From the BTN
BronxBulldog folds
spazzy1 calls $1.25

*** FLOP *** [4h 7d 8h]
spazzy1 checks
noldmax bets $3
spazzy1 calls $3 <-- 8? Straight draw? Float? Too early to know.

*** TURN *** [4h 7d 8h] [Th]
spazzy1 checks
noldmax checks

*** RIVER *** [4h 7d 8h Th] [Tc]
spazzy1 bets $5.50
noldmax folds
spazzy1 mucks
spazzy1 wins the pot ($9.30)

*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $9.75 Rake $0.45
Board: [4h 7d 8h Th Tc]
Seat 1: spazzy1 (big blind) collected ($9.30), mucked
Seat 5: noldmax (button) folded on the River

Round 1 to spazzy

Two hands later...

Full Tilt Poker Game #5972997074: Table Exley (6 max) - $0.25/$0.50 - No Limit Hold'em
Seat 1: spazzy1 ($23.80)
Seat 2: JohnGa ($19.50) <-- SB
Seat 3: Metsfanman ($38.40) <-- BB
Seat 4: corbin801 ($15.45)
Seat 5: noldmax ($50)
Seat 6: BronxBulldog ($52.30)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to noldmax [Kh Th]
corbin801 folds
noldmax raises to $1.75
BronxBulldog folds
spazzy1 calls $1.75
JohnGa folds, Metsfanman folds

*** FLOP *** [6c Ah Tc]
noldmax bets $3
spazzy1 calls $3 <-- Look familiar?

*** TURN *** [6c Ah Tc] [3d]
noldmax bets $5 <-- Okay, maybe a second barrel will work this time.
spazzy1 calls $5

*** RIVER *** [6c Ah Tc 3d] [7h]
noldmax bets $6 <-- Second pair, good kicker is strong enough to try a blocking bet.
spazzy1 raises to $12 <-- Ugh, what on earth do I beat here?
noldmax has 15 seconds left to act
noldmax folds
spazzy1 wins the pot ($30.65)

*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $32.25 Rake $1.60
Board: [6c Ah Tc 3d 7h]
Seat 1: spazzy1 (button) collected ($30.65), mucked
Seat 5: noldmax folded on the River

Round 2 to spazzy. Maybe he struck gold both times, but I'm highly skeptical. Mental note: Let's not try to bluff this guy again. But if we have a hand, extract value.

Another orbit later...

Full Tilt Poker Game #5973027925: Table Exley (6 max) - $0.25/$0.50 - No Limit Hold'em
Seat 1: spazzy1 ($70.75) <-- BB
Seat 2: JohnGa ($20)
Seat 5: noldmax ($50)
Seat 6: BronxBulldog ($53.50) <-- SB

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to noldmax [Tc 8s]
JohnGa folds
noldmax raises to $1.75
BronxBulldog folds
spazzy1 calls $1.25 <-- Well we should have known this would happen, right?

*** FLOP *** [Js 2h 3c]
spazzy1 checks
noldmax checks <-- Heeding my mental note!

*** TURN *** [Js 2h 3c] [7c]
spazzy1 bets $3.75 <-- Overbet? Suspicious, but I'm not convinced I can make him fold here.
noldmax folds
spazzy1 wins the pot ($3.60)

*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $3.75 Rake $0.15
Board: [Js 2h 3c 7c]
Seat 1: spazzy1 (big blind) collected ($3.60), mucked
Seat 5: noldmax (button) folded on the Turn

Round 3 to spazzy. Now I resolve to tighten up my PFR range and just be patient. I've lost over half a buy-in to this guy already.

In the meanwhile, spazzy nearly triples up when his AK turns broadway against KK and QJ. Then the following hand goes down...

Full Tilt Poker Game #5973042570: Table Exley (6 max) - $0.25/$0.50 - No Limit Hold'em
Seat 1: spazzy1 ($75.80)
Seat 2: JohnGa ($19.50) <-- SB
Seat 4: spiceman007 ($9.50) <-- BB
Seat 5: noldmax ($50)
Seat 6: BronxBulldog ($50.75)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to noldmax [7d Jd]
noldmax folds
BronxBulldog raises to $1.50
spazzy1 calls $1.50
JohnGa folds, spiceman007 folds

*** FLOP *** [9s 7s Td]
BronxBulldog bets $1.50
spazzy1 calls $1.50

*** TURN *** [9s 7s Td] [2c]
BronxBulldog bets $4.50
spazzy1 calls $4.50

*** RIVER *** [9s 7s Td 2c] [Qh]
BronxBulldog has 15 seconds left to act
BronxBulldog bets $15.75
spazzy1 calls $15.75

*** SHOW DOWN ***
BronxBulldog shows [Ks Kd] a pair of Kings
spazzy1 mucks
BronxBulldog wins the pot ($44.90) with a pair of Kings

*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $47.25 Rake $2.35
Board: [9s 7s Td 2c Qh]
Seat 1: spazzy1 (button) mucked [Qd 8s] - a pair of Queens <-- Q8off, lovely. Then called a third barrel after hitting a pair of Qs?
Seat 5: noldmax didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: BronxBulldog showed [Ks Kd] and won ($44.90) with a pair of Kings

Well, now I know my opponent. And fortunately, he still has a sizeable stack remaining. Now I just need to hunker down, be patient, and hope that someone else doesn't clean him out first.

About two orbits later...

Full Tilt Poker Game #5973125863: Table Exley (6 max) - $0.25/$0.50
Seat 1: spazzy1 ($41.05) <-- SB
Seat 2: JohnGa ($5) <-- BB
Seat 3: cherumka ($38)
Seat 4: spiceman007 ($10.10)
Seat 5: noldmax ($50.70)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to noldmax [5h Ah]
cherumka folds
spiceman007 raises to $1.50
noldmax calls $1.50
spazzy1 calls $1.25
JohnGa calls $1

*** FLOP *** [Kh 8h 6c]
spazzy1 checks, JohnGa checks
spiceman007 bets $1.50
noldmax raises to $6 <-- semi-bluff, hopefully take it down.
spazzy1 calls $6 <-- but of course
JohnGa folds, spiceman007 folds

*** TURN *** [Kh 8h 6c] [3h] <-- Gin card!
spazzy1 checks
noldmax bets $12
spazzy1 calls $12 <-- Oh now I love you so much spazzy, now please put a heart up on the river so I can stack you and your middling flush draw.

*** RIVER *** [Kh 8h 6c 3h] [Ts] <-- Bummer, no heart
spazzy1 checks
noldmax bets $25 <-- The big mistake.
spazzy1 folds <-- I bet way too much...could possibly have gotten a call from a pair with a $10 bet.
noldmax wins the pot ($41.35)

*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $43.50 Rake $2.15
Board: [Kh 8h 6c 3h Ts]
Seat 1: spazzy1 (small blind) folded on the River
Seat 5: noldmax collected ($41.35), mucked

Round 4, at last, goes to me!

And another 2 orbits later, we have Round 5...

Full Tilt Poker Game #5973224138: Table Exley (6 max) - $0.25/$0.50 - No Limit Hold'em
Seat 1: spazzy1 ($21.35) <-- SB
Seat 2: JohnGa ($3.25) <-- BB
Seat 3: cherumka ($35.60)
Seat 4: spiceman007 ($4.95)
Seat 5: noldmax ($79.90)
Seat 6: thee babe ($50)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to noldmax [9c 9s]
cherumka folds, spiceman007 folds
noldmax raises to $1.75
thee babe folds
spazzy1 calls $1.50
JohnGa folds

*** FLOP *** [Kc 2s 3s]
spazzy1 checks
noldmax bets $3
spazzy1 calls $3 <-- Nope, I'm no longer buying it.

*** TURN *** [Kc 2s 3s] [3c]
spazzy1 checks
noldmax bets $4
spazzy1 calls $4 <-- I'm still not buying it.

*** RIVER *** [Kc 2s 3s 3c] [9h] <-- Saweeet river!
spazzy1 checks
noldmax bets $6 <-- Value extraction
spazzy1 raises to $12.60, and is all in <-- Thank you sir.
noldmax calls $6.60

*** SHOW DOWN ***
spazzy1 shows [Qs 3d] three of a kind, Threes <-- Q3off! And didn't raise his trips on the turn. How kind.
noldmax shows [9c 9s] a full house, Nines full of Threes
noldmax wins the pot ($41.05) with a full house, Nines full of Threes

*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $43.20 Rake $2.15
Board: [Kc 2s 3s 3c 9h]
Seat 1: spazzy1 (small blind) showed [Qs 3d] and lost with three of a kind, Threes
Seat 5: noldmax showed [9c 9s] and won ($41.05) with a full house, Nines full of Threes

So I took Round 5, and then one orbit later had the honor of finishing him off with this hand...

Full Tilt Poker Game #5973345958: Table Exley (6 max) - $0.25/$0.50
Seat 1: spazzy1 ($19.50)
Seat 2: JohnGa ($41)
Seat 3: cherumka ($12.25) <-- SB
Seat 4: spiceman007 ($4.50) <-- BB
Seat 5: noldmax ($106.30)
Seat 6: thee babe ($64.90)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to noldmax [7c 7d]
noldmax raises to $1.75
thee babe folds
spazzy1 calls $1.75
JohnGa folds
cherumka calls $1.50
spiceman007 folds

*** FLOP *** [7h 4c 6h] <-- Lovely, almost nothing to be scared of
cherumka checks
noldmax bets $4
spazzy1 raises to $17.75, and is all in <-- OMG I love you spazzy
cherumka calls $10.50, and is all in <-- Gotta be a heart draw
noldmax calls $13.75
spazzy1 shows [Tc Ts]
cherumka shows [8s 5s] <-- spazzy's protege
noldmax shows [7c 7d]

*** TURN *** [7h 4c 6h] [2s]

*** RIVER *** [7h 4c 6h 2s] [6d] <-- The most beautiful card in the world
spazzy1 shows two pair, Tens and Sixes
noldmax shows a full house, Sevens full of Sixes
noldmax wins the side pot ($13.80) with a full house, Sevens full of Sixes
cherumka shows a straight, Eight high
noldmax wins the main pot ($35.40) with a full house, Sevens full of Sixes

*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $51.75 Main pot $37.25. Side pot $14.50. Rake $2.55
Board: [7h 4c 6h 2s 6d]
Seat 1: spazzy1 showed [Tc Ts] and lost with two pair, Tens and Sixes
Seat 3: cherumka (small blind) showed [8s 5s] and lost with a straight, Eight high
Seat 5: noldmax showed [7c 7d] and won ($49.20) with a full house, Sevens full of Sixes

When you're playing with a loose passive mule like this, you've gotta tighten up and let him take down a lot of small pots while you wait to work him over on a big one. Only a made hand is going to beat a player like this, so adjust accordingly, and give the multi-street bluffing a rest. In the end, you'll often find that this type of player takes 2 or 3 pots to every 1 you take, but you're crushing him in the number of chips on the table.